The Last Potter
by Fyrie
Summary: What if Lily Potter hadn't been killed in Godric's Hollow that fateful night? Be warned - this story isn't going to be about sunshine and daisies. (Ch. 3 added - 25th March)
1. Chapter One

The Last Potter Chapter One

  
  
Notes: I don't know how I came up with this and - knowing my luck - its probably been done before, but I was reading "The Devil's Deal" by webba and somehow, this idea got lodged in my brain and wouldn't go away. I got back from the computer labs and within an hour, had nearly three pages typed and a drawing half done. This seldom happens. I never illustrate my stuff, but I gave myself such a painful visual that I just had to draw it. And will be drawing another one shortly. I hate my mind sometimes.  
I have to say for the record that this fic is incorporating some of the ideas I like least in HP fics: AU fic, Harry-parent-centric fic and 'Heir of whoever' fics. I really dislike those kind of stories for no particular reason (God, I'm mature), although my mind is a sadomasochistic little bastard and likes to make me write things I dislike (see Harry/Buffy as a couple. I almost made myself physically sick with that one).  
If there was any other way I could write this without using those key elements, I would, but - unfortunately - the idea came in one large package (the metaphor of being hit with a sledgehammer became appropriate. You don't know that metaphor? Oh. Probably because I just made it up :)) and I can't break it up, so it will just be written out the way it came to me. Even though I'm likely to hate everything I write (But hey! Thats hardly a new experience, is it?)  
And, also for the record, I have a horrible feeling this story is going to drive me mad. So many ideas in the space of an hour can't be a good thing.  
  


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"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!" 

Her body shielding her child, Lily Potter stared wildly up at the creature, who had once been a man. His wand was directed at her chest, the moonlight slashing into the darkened room and cutting across the bone-white face of the one they believed they had escaped.

Her blood felt like ice water in her veins as he grinned down at her, forcing her to acknowledge the fact that she could not fight back. She was wandless and no allies were going to come to her aid.

Peter...

Peter had betrayed them and led Him here.

Lily was shaking, sobbing, her throat burning. Had she the energy, she knew she would have screamed until she had no breath nor life left. He was dead! James was dead. Her beloved James. He was dead. Dead. Gone. Murdered. Killed by the bastard in front of her!

And now, he wanted to take her son from her, just as he had taken her husband from her, only moments before.

"Stand aside, you silly girl," he hissed, gliding towards her, his wand raised. "Stand aside now."

Shaking her head, tears licking down her face, burning her skin, she reached behind her, holding the whimpering Harry against her back. She knew why he wanted her baby, but she wouldn't let him have Harry. He was just a baby! He was only a helpless child! She wasn't going to let this monster harm her child!

She could feel his small hands, still sticky with his dinner, gripping her jumper, as if he could sense the danger.

"Not Harry," she whispered, raising her other hand towards him imploringly. "Please no..." He ignored her words, continued to move inexorably closer, his scarlet eyes never leaving hers. A wild sob tore from her throat, desperation forcing useless pleas from her lips. "Take me! Kill me instead!"

Instead.

That was not a word the monster would accept.

It would be both of them, she knew.

He would kill her and turn the wand on her defenceless child.

Voldemort laughed, his narrow slash of a mouth a dark maw in his cold face, eyes shimmering with demonic mirth.

Sobbing, she pulled Harry to her, backing across the room. Harry's hands were in her hair, gripping tight, but the pain didn't matter. Still, the dark one advanced on her, his wand in one hand, the other hand outstretched towards her.

"No..." she whispered over and over to herself. "No, no, no, no, no..."

Harry was wailing, a wild keening sound.

He knew that this was wrong.

The low, narrow ledge of the window bumped against the back of her thigh and Lily cried out in despair. There was nowhere to run, the door blocked by their enemy and the window at their back.

Harry's wail had grown to shrieking screams, the kind of throat-tearing screams that makes every mother weep in sympathy, the kind of screams that spoke of undiluted terror, the kind of screams she had never imagined her child making.

Shaking her head, she pulled Harry in front of him, clutching him to her chest, her arms shielding his little body from the wand of the dark one, who was laughing all the more loudly, the hideous cacophony of his mirth mingling in a nightmarish chorus with her son's desperate cries.

Flashing a hopeless look over her shoulder, she wondered if she and Harry would survive if she threw herself through the window. They were on the upper floor. One of them would surely be harmed.

Harry's tears were soaking through her jumper, but his sobs had quieted.

Or maybe they hadn't.

Everything seemed to have gone frighteningly silent, the wind outside soundless. All she could hear was the deafening thump-thump-thump of her blood pounding rapidly in her ears.

The silhouettes of the trees in the moonlight outside cast dark, groping fingers over Voldemort's face as he drew closer to her, his thin lips drawing back from his teeth in a snake-like grin.

Shaking her head, her mouth bone-dry, she clung to Harry, her eyes locked with the Dark One's.

She couldn't look away. She tried, mentally screamed at herself to look away from the frightening, mesmerising eyes, but her body and mind were two separate entities until the moment his hand connected with her face and sent her sprawling, Harry tumbling from her arms onto the floor.

Harry was screaming again.

Blood had filled Lily's mouth and her head connected with the radiator against the wall with a painful thump, but she struggled back onto her knees, a sob escaping her as she saw the dark one bend over her child, where he had fallen from her arms.

Spidery fingers lifted the terrified infant level with the Dark Lord's face, green eyes staring at the dark one's distorted features in childish terror. With a snarl of disgust, the child was thrown back to the floor and the dark one's wand was directed at him.

"Not Harry!" Lily shrieked. Her vision was blurring into black, but she scrambled across the floor towards him, grasping at the back of his robes. "Please! Have mercy! Have mercy!"

"Ma!" Harry cried out, little hands reaching towards her. "Ma!"

"Harry!"

Another blow connected with the back of her skull and she slumped down. Her son's little face was staring at her, wet and shining with tears. She could feel sticky blood streaming down her cheek, tried to rise, but her body felt numb.

Unconsciousness was calling her, already embracing her body, ignoring her futile struggles to resist and she knew it would only be a matter of time before she was drawn in by it's soporific kiss.

A bony white hand lifted her face up.

"Watch, little girl," a hissing voice breathed in her ear. "Watch him scream before he dies."

"No..." she whispered, tears blurring her vision.

"Yes," the dark one said, his high voice and cold laugh making her shudder, as he thrust his wand against her infant son's little body. "Watch..." he repeated, then spoke one word. "C_ruciatus_!"

And the screams began anew.

***

"James! Lily!"

The door of the small cottage in Godric's Hollow was hanging open, which filled Sirius with a sense of deep unease. 

This was wrong! It was all wrong!

Peter had vanished and now...

Pushing the door open carefully, he peered around, but could see nothing. Stepping into the hall, he tripped over something lying on the floor and pulled his wand out, whispering, "_Lumos_."

A leg...

No...

His throat constricted as he forced himself to move up the inert body, sprawled face-down on the carpet of the hall. His vision blurred as he recognised the tousled matt of black hair, drawing several shaking breaths before he could find the nerve to turn over the body.

His hand was trembling as he grasped the body's shoulder. He tugged quickly, lest he change his mind and flee from the house, and the figure rolled onto it's back, into his arms, the light of the wand dashing across the pale face before him.

"No...God...no..."

James Potter's glassy blue eyes stared back at him through the cracked lenses of his glasses, his lips parted, his face contorted in desperation and despair.

"Prongs..." Sirius whispered. His shaking fingers touched his friend's cold cheek. It wasn't right, this. It was all pretend. It had to just be a grand joke and any moment now, Prongs would yell 'Boo!' and then laugh at how funny he was.

Prong was very funny, you see. Very funny indeed.

He could make everyone and anyone laugh, just as long as it was someone.

Prongs was always laughing, all the time, be it rain or shine, night or day. Prongs was alive with life and laughter. Prongs was life incarnate, laughing, joking, talking, playing. He didn't lie still like this. Not like this at all. Not stiff and cold with fear in his eyes and a chill on his lips.

"C'mon, Prongs..."

It had to be pretend.

"Prongs..."

All a grand joke.

"Come on..."

Sirius shook him.

"This isn't funny, mate..."

Tears were already spilling down his face, but he shook him again. 

It couldn't be real. 

It couldn't. 

He wouldn't let it be.

"Prongs," he whispered. Hot tears were raining softly onto James Potter's motionless face like a gentle summer shower in the deepest darkest winter. "Prongs, don't do this to me... to us... please...please..." Barely even a whisper, Sirius' voice was that of the broken man. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Embracing his friend's body, Sirius wept as he pressed a hand over James' heart, but there was no response. 

Nothing.

Tears were burning down his cheeks as he laid Prongs down on the floor, a shaking hand reverently closing the blue eyes that would never again dance with the laughter Sirius was so familiar with. 

Prongs. Prongs, his best and most loved friend, had been cut down by the dark one, the hunter, they had evaded for so long. Prongs would never laugh or joke or tease or play again. Prongs was gone, dead, never to return.

Closing his eyes, Sirius buried his face in his hands.

"Its my fault...my fault..."

A sound from upstairs made him turn sharply. 

"_Nox_!" 

In the darkness, he crept up the stairs, forcing down his grief in the vague hopes that he may yet get his revenge for his friend's death.

On the landing, he heard a soft sob, a female sob.

Lily!

Uncaring of any danger, he ran, ran along the landing, ran into the bedroom he knew that the couple shared the sight that greeted him one he knew would never leave him, in all it's heart-breaking intensity.

"Lily..."

Cradling the limp body of her son, Lily Potter, clad in a bloodied nightshirt, raised tear-filled eyes to him. Her pale face was streaked with red, the moonlight through the window washing across her and little Harry's still face.

"Harry..." she whispered, her voice cracking. "My little boy..."

"Oh, Lily..."

"He...he hurt my baby..." she whispered. "Look...my baby...my little one..."

Harry...

Oh God...

Not just Prongs. Little Harry too.

Sirius was kneeling by her side in an instant. He raised an arm to embrace her, but it fell. What was he meant to do? Was he meant to hug her and the child? Did he take the child from her? What did he do? 

Prongs was always the one who knew these things.

Not him, not Sirius.

Prongs was the sensible one, the one who had been brought up properly with all the right manners for all the right occasions. 

"What do I do, Prongs?" Sirius whispered hopelessly. "I was never any good at this... what the hell am I meant to do without you?"

It was wrong, it was just wrong.

"He was screaming..." Lily whispered, forcing him to look at her, tears spilling down her cheeks. Tinged pink, they splashed onto Harry's face. She touched his cheeks, his smooth forehead, his pink rosebud lips, closed his sightless green eyes with shaking, bloody fingertips. "He was screaming... and I-I-I couldn't do anything... my baby...my Harry...he was screaming, Sirius...he was screaming..."

He had to hold her, he had to let her cry with him, he had to give her someone. She sank against him, her child still cradled in her arms, her eyes never leaving his face, as she touched his small hands, touched every tiny finger.

Sirius could remember when those tiny little fingers had curled around one of his, gripping it and bringing it to that gummy little mouth. He remembered the newly-cut teeth biting on the tip and catching him by surprise once. He remembered the first time Harry had called him "Pafoo", a childish approximation of his nickname.

He would never do or say any of those things again. Not now nor ever. 

"He was screaming... he was screaming, Sirius..." Lily whispered over and over and over again. "He was screaming... screaming... my baby was screaming..."

Sirius pressed his cheek against her hair, unable to force any words of false comfort from his lips. How could he say it was all right? Prongs was gone. The little one was gone. Lily...

Squeezing his blue eyes shut, he felt the tears creep slowly down his cheeks, like streams of molten metal on his skin, burning and agonising, a bitter and painful salute to father and son.

That was how they were found.

It might have been seconds later or it may have been days.

The Ministry arrived quickly, but Remus arrived first and then, Dumbledore, but none of them could make things better, none of them could bring Prongs or mini-Prongs back to them.

Where the dark one was, they couldn't say. Or wouldn't.

Sirius couldn't be certain.

Nothing seemed to matter now.

His best friend was gone, the one he had known since they had collided on their first day at Hogwarts, ten years before. And his friend's child, Harry, the adorable, perfect baby Sirius had worshipped like a God, the child he was meant to protect if anything happened to Prongs.

He had failed them both.

"Sirius," Albus Dumbledore had finally convinced him to let Lily go and to allow the medi-witch near her. He was the one who spoke to Sirius first. "Do you want to tell me what happened here?"

"He betrayed us," Sirius whispered. 

He didn't want it to be true.

It couldn't be.

Peter, their close friend, closer even than Remus had been, the one they had shared so many adventures with, the one they had become animagi with...

"Who did, Sirius?"

Blue eyes, itching with pain and drained dry of tears, stared hopelessly up at his former Head Master. 

"Peter," he replied, his voice rough and hoarse, although the thoughts surrounding that name feel wrong. The thought that Peter betrayed them. How could he do it? To his friends? How? "He...we changed... switched... he took my place...we thought... this... it wasn't meant to happen...not like this... not now...not Prongs...or Harry..."

"Peter was James' secret keeper?" 

Sirius nodded, tears burning into his vision again. "I told him to change," he tried to say. "I told him...this is my fault...this is all my fault..." Dizziness and grief were swarming around him on all sides and he buried his head in his hands with a choking sob. "It wasn't meant to happen..."

Dumbledore silently squeezed his shoulder, his own eyes filled with deep grief.

"Wh-where's Moony? He...he needs to know..."

The old wizard paused for a long moment before replying, "He already knows, Sirius. He left a short time ago."

Sirius bowed his head and let the tears fall, for Prongs and for Harry...and a single tear for Wormtail, the one he had believed to be a friend. Even though it had not been said aloud, he knew that there would be one rat less in the world by dawn.

***

She could still hear him screaming.

It went on and on and no matter how she tried to block it out, it rang in her ears. The sight of his fragile body thrashing under the curse of the dark one was burned into her mind and she tried to force it away.

They had taken her child from her arms, from her sight, when Dumbledore had first arrived and he had gathered her gently in his arms and let her weep, as they reverently wrapped her lost infant in a soft blanket.

Sirius had been as stunned as she had.

They had barely been able to form the words to try and understand what had come to pass in the house.

In the matter of a couple of days, she had gone from being happily married and the mother of the most perfect child in the world to being a widow and childless once more, the two people she loved more than life itself gone.

Someone had sedated her, she didn't know who, but she had been grateful for it.

It stopped the screams for a little while.

Dumbledore was waiting by her bedside when she awoke, in one of the quiet little rooms in St. Mungo's, even though she pretended that she was still asleep, unable and unwilling to face the truth of the horrors of the night before.

It was too much, far too much.

To lose one was to have half of her heart ripped from her chest, but to lose both of them was to be hurled into the deepest and most horrific hell she could imagine. 

"I know you are awake, my dear," Dumbledore finally said softly.

Green eyes that were shot with red reluctantly opened. Cold, harsh sunlight was pouring in the tall windows that lined the wall of the room, making her blink hard as she tried to focus on the face of the wizard sitting by her bedside.

"I don't want to be, sir," she replied, staring hopelessly at him. "I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I want to be with James and Harry."

"I know, Lily, but you know you must continue, in their memory."

She looked at him, wondering if he was truly mad. "Why?" she asked. "Why do I have to do anything anymore?"

"James died to save you, Lily, and your son...Harry loved you dearly. They would not wish you to die..."

Tears were filling her eyes rapidly. "How do you know that?" she demanded, her defiant cry shrunk to a shaking whisper. "How can you know they didn't want me to die and be with them?"

"Lily, do you remember the last thing Voldemort said to you?"

"He..." Green eyes widened. "He said the killing curse!" she gasped. "He...he tried to kill me!"

Dumbledore nodded and raised a hand to touch the bandage that was wound around her head. "Beneath this, you have a wound that will leave a scar, a mark of the love of your husband and your son. Your husband died for you and your son's love proved a strong shield." 

Closing her eyes, Lily could clearly see James' face. It was the last time she saw him alive, standing in the doorway of the bedroom, before he had gone to see what the noise was downstairs.

"I want to see him James," she said.

"Are you sure?"

Forcing herself into a sitting position, she nodded, her head throbbing. She raised a hand to her brow, wincing. "I want to say goodbye to both of them," she said, her voice trembling as she spoke. "Please."

Nodding, her former teacher and mentor called for one of the medi-witches.

It seemed like a blur in time, from the moment she was helped into a thick dressing gown then onto a floating chair and when they reached the small room where the bodies of the two people she loved most were laid.

It was a small room with pale walls and one curtained window in the wall facing the door. Gentle flames of candles flickered on the stands on the walls, the soft glow providing just enough light for the room.

"Would you like to be alone?" Dumbledore asked softly, as he directed her chair to the biers, where they lay.

Unable to speak, Lily nodded. Hot tears were spilling silently down her cheeks, her throat closing up at the sight of her husband, so lean and handsome as he always had been, and her son, so tiny and so very young.

As the door closed behind her, she unsteadily rose to her feet. The floor was cold against her soles, but she didn't care. Hesitantly, she stretched out a hand to touch her husband's still chest. 

He was lying on his back, wearing the same clothing he had worn when he had left her in the bedroom, his arms by his sides. The smile he had worn as he left the room was no longer on his familiar lips, but he looked peaceful.

"It's wrong," she whispered tearfully, lifting one of his hands, pressing her hot, damp cheek against the back of his hand. "You weren't meant to leave me, James... you and I...we were meant to stay together...all of us...it wasn't meant to happen like this..."

He made no reply, no sound of comfort.

Why did it have to be him?

Why did he have to bear the curse of being one that Voldemort would go after?

Him and their son, all because of their blood ties.

Closing her eyes, Lily clung to his hand, tears pouring down her face. 

"I love you, James," she whispered. "I love you so much and now...now, you've gone away and left me here to do this on my own...I can't...I can't do this without you, James...I can't...you were always the strong one...I need you..."

He was the only one who knew, the only one she had shared their news with. 

He had been overjoyed when she had told him she was sure. Just as he had been when she had told him that she was expecting Harry. He had grabbed her, swinging her off her feet until she was almost sick with dizziness, whooping with delight.

One of her hands strayed down to her stomach that was only now beginning to show the promise of the new life growing within her. 

Their second child. 

Her and James' second child.

A little brother or sister for Harry.

"You said you'd be with me every step of the way," she said, shaking her head. "I-I believed you...and now...oh, God..." Her legs gave way and she landed heavily on her knees, burying her face in her hands. "Make it a bad dream," she pleaded to anyone who would listen. "Make it all go away...make it not real...please don't let him be dead... please..."

Her sobs echoed off the bare walls of the small room, her shoulders shaking with the violence of her grief. 

It felt like her tears fell for an eternity, her eyes burning, as she forced herself back to her feet, embracing her husband's body one last time, her cheek pressing against his chest as she clung to him.

It was wrong.

Without the steady thump of his heart, it just...wasn't James, but still she held him.

"I love you..." she whispered over and over, as if they were the secret magic words to bring him back to her. "I love you..."

Reluctantly laying him back down, she bent over him, touching her forehead to his, her eyes closed. Her silent tears continued to fall, trickling down her cheeks and onto the marble-white skin of her husband's face.

Kissing his forehead, his peacefully closed eyes and his still lips, she tried to force down another wave of tears as she reverently crossed his hands over his chest.

"Look after Harry until I get there, love," she whispered to him softly, stroking his hair once more. "Don't let him get in with a bad crowd."

She could almost hear him laughing in her mind and almost smiled at the thought of him rolling his eyes and shaking his head at her: "A bad crowd? You think the rest of the Marauders are here already?"

Turning to her son, she swallowed hard as she approached the other bier.

He was so tiny, so very tiny.

Sitting on the edge of the low bier, she lifted her son's body into her lap, cradling him in her arms. He had always been so light, barely a year and a half old, perfect in every single way. He had been beautiful.

Was still beautiful.

Her little treasure, her angel.

With his daddy's unruly black hair that would never do what she wanted, no matter what she tried, and her own green eyes, he had naturally been able to charm the socks off anyone who met him.

"Mummy's here, sweetheart," she whispered, her left hand running over his shock of hair, as she slowly rocked from side to side, pressing kisses to his downy mass of dark hair. "Mummy's here...mummy misses you...mummy misses you so much..." 

He had always fitted so neatly into the cradle of her arms. With one arm beneath him, the other balancing him, his little head resting against her chest, she had always felt so comfortable with him.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled his scent, that still lingered on his hair. 

He had always smelled of talcum powder and grass, a combination of her bathing him and his father taking him out on nature expeditions with his uncle Padfoot, which had usually involved crawling around in the back garden with a massive dog and a stag for company.

He couldn't be dead, not really.

He still looked, smelt and felt so...so much like little Harry.

His skin was still soft. His face was still as beautiful as it had always been. His hair was still unruly and she tried to flatten the tuft at the back, which had always stuck in all directions.

A sob escaped her.

"Your daddy better take care of you, darling," she wept, holding him to her. "He better look after you and make sure you don't forget your mummy...I love you, Harry. I love you so much. I wanted to see you grow up and become a man, just like your daddy, but now, I won't and I...I miss you already, my little angel..."

Her cheek resting against the top of her son's downy head, she continued to rock him in her arms, weeping softly, until there was a quiet tap at the door and Professor Dumbledore entered.

"They've gone, Professor," Lily choked on the words. "They've left me behind...I love them both and they still left me...me and the little one..." A startled look crossed Dumbledore's face. "It needs a daddy...I can't do this on my own...I can't..."

"Lily, dear child, what do you mean?" he asked gently, crossing the room and laying a hand on her shoulder.

Tear-filled emerald green eyes rose to him, the sorrow in them almost breaking his heart. "James and I...we were trying for another baby," she replied sadly. "We wanted a brother or sister for Harry...and now..." She looked down at her son. "I'm pregnant again, Professor. I'm carrying James' baby."

"You are sure?"

Lily nodded wearily, stroking Harry's cheek as she laid him tenderly back down on the bier. Her hand lingered on his chest. "Lord Voldemort thought he had succeeded in doing what he intended by killing James and Harry," she replied quietly, bending to kiss her son's forehead. "But he didn't know about the little one. No one else knows that, in four or five months, there's going to be another Potter."


	2. Chapter Two

The Last Potter

Chapter Two

November rain was lashing wildly against the tall windows of the hospital, the skies a turbulent and gloomy grey, clouds roiling overhead. There was no sign of the sun that had been so bright only days earlier.

It almost seemed that the bitter and grim weather was virtually reflecting the mood of the now-famous patient in room three-one-four, of St. Mungo's.

The beige walls and dark wooden floor were the only things that prevented the room from appearing like a sterile cell, a single bed standing parallel to the windows with a bedside locker beside it, a chair against one wall and a table at the foot of the bed.

Lying on her side in the bed, her body curled tightly in on itself beneath the thick, heavy white sheets and cream blankets, Lily Potter hadn't moved for hours, not even when the nurses had come in to give her breakfast.

The food had been left on the table, the nurses whispering nervously about how the woman in the bed had been the one to defeat Voldemort.

It was only a little while later, when they had come by to check on her and found the food untouched, that they were made acutely aware that their patient seemed to have disconnected herself from the world, closing herself away in her own safe little place.

Her right arm was curled up beneath her head, her long, red hair pulled back in a loose ponytail by the nurses. Her left hand was clenched around a wadded knot of the blankets, gripping it tightly under her chin.

Glassy, unseeing emerald-green eyes - blood-shot from hours of weeping - stared out of the windows at nothing, tears trickling silently down a face that was as white as the pillow it rested on. 

The door opened for the umpteenth time, but she didn't move.

Everyone had been trying to sneak a look in at her, the mighty vanquisher of the Dark Lord, from the cleaning staff to other patients in nearby wards, right up to the Minister of Magic.

Most who had peered in had assumed that they had gone to the wrong room, the still, broken figure in the bed not exactly what they had in mind for the new heroine of the wizarding world.

The latest visitor approached the bed, his footfalls quiet. 

He had asked all the nurses about the patient, heard all the whispers about the state she was in, the silent vigil she seemed to be holding in her mind, the fact she wasn't eating or moving or anything.

Pausing beside the bed, Severus Snape looked down at the grief-stricken witch.

He had, of course, heard the news through the grapevine. Whispers had abounded that Voldemort was gone, defeated by the Potters, celebrations starting almost as soon as the words had left the speaker's mouths.

However, that was the words had also started to take new shape, as the truth was slowly unwound from the rumours already springing up.

There had been no to-the-death wizards duel in which James Potter had mopped the floor with the powerful Dark Lord. There hadn't even been time for Potter to reach for his wand, by all accounts.

There had been no cunning trap set to capture He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as some rumours alleged, nor was there anyone there to help the Potters when they were most in need of aid, when they thought they were safe.

As facts became clearer, Snape had rushed to Dumbledore, hoping that what he was hearing had to be a mistake, that perhaps there were another family of Potters, who just chanced to have a baby son called Harry.

It had all proved true.

James Potter was dead, taken down with a single curse. 

His son, Harry, at barely a year and a half old, had been less fortunate. Although it had left no physical trace on the body, he heard that the child had been placed under the cruciatus curse, in front of his helpless mother, before being slain.

Which lead to the mother, Lily, the broken woman lying in the bed before him now.

Given the knowledge that her husband had died, the forced to watch her infant son cursed and killed had to be the worst torment for anyone to go through, the sorrow-lined planes of her face a testament to it.

Most of the visitors hadn't even come close to the bed and it's occupant, but he was an old friend. He pulled a chair alongside the bed and slowly sat down, his dark eyes on the woman's pale face. One bony hand hesitantly reached out and touched Lily's.

Green eyes flickered, then slowly regained focus, turning towards him. Pale, cracked lips moved slightly, but it wasn't clear if they were trying to form a smile or a frown.

"Severus," she whispered.

Nodding, Severus tried to find the energy and strength to give her one of his half-hearted smiles. "I-I-I heard, Lily," he muttered, withdrawing his hand quickly and knotting it with his other one, in his lap. "I-I doubt it will help, but I am sorry."

Those words, such simple, honest words seemed to strike her like a savage blow and Lily curled in on herself, pressing her fists against her forehead. 

The dark-haired, dark-eyed young man flinched. He could see the skin of her brow rapidly starting to bruise beneath her hands. She was trying desperately to smother her sobs, ragged little gasps escaped her.

Severus reached out a hand to her, then pulled it back, self-hatred, consternation and guilt etched in equal measures on his face, as he came to his feet. "I-I shouldn't have come," he stammered. "I-I..." Backing away, his eyes seemed to have locked onto her face, which was contorted with pain, grief and despair. "I-I'm sorry..." he whispered, like a mantra. "Merlin... I'm sorry..."

Little keening sobs were escaping her, her body rocking with the force of them. Her hands pushed up into her hair and twisting, pulling long strands free, the auburn mass spilling free from the constraints.

Severus Snape backed against a wall of the ward, his hands rhythmically clenching into fists by his sides, his own expression tight with horror at the sight of what had come to one of the people who had called him a 'friend' at school. 

Had he had the ability, he would have wept for her.

He couldn't say how long he stood there, plastered up against the wall, wondering what had convinced him to enter the hospital, let alone the room of the woman whom he had not spoken to since the day she had told him she would be marrying Potter.

All he knew was that he was still standing there, staring wildly at the sobbing woman on the bed, when the door opened again and two figures entered, the two people he knew he would have avoided at all costs.

"Lily!" Black cried out, running across the room and scrambling onto the bed beside her. He didn't care what looked right and proper in civilised society, Black. Instead, he gathered the shaking, sobbing woman against his chest and clung to her. "It's all right, Lils.. we're here... Remus and me... we're here..."

"And him," Lupin said quietly, without so much as looking at Snape.

The wolf always seemed to notice everything.

Blue eyes - bloodshot as Lily's - rose and stared at him, the disgust and hatred there palpable. His lips curled back from his teeth, his expression ugly. "Well, well... thought you'd come and laugh at James' passing, Snape?"

Severus stared at him in incomprehension. 

Yes, he had truly hated James Potter for being so popular, so loved, so friendly, so likeable, so everything that he wasn't, but he had never realised that he seemed callous enough to dance on the grave of someone he knew.

"Lily..." he replied, the only word he could think to form. It came out as a shaking and tremulous whisper. "She needed friends..."

"Friends who reduce her to this?" Black snapped bitterly. "Friends who just stand there while she cries her heart out? I don't know what reality you qualify as a friend in, Snape, but it isn't here."

Lupin approached the bed and touched his long-time friend's shoulder, his voice placid and calming. "Sirius, getting angry isn't going to help," he said softly. "It won't bring them back and Lily did get on with him."

"He's right," Severus managed to find the words that had eluded him. "I-I shouldn't have come here..." With Lily safely being cared for by someone else, he didn't have to remain. "I-I..."

Black opened his mouth to say something, but Lupin pre-empted it, his knuckles whitening as he squeezed Black's shoulder in silent warning . "Just go for now, Snape," he suggested softly. 

"Tell her..." Severus fell silent, looking away. What could he say that wouldn't sound contrived or pointless? The muscles in his cheeks tightened and he grit his teeth together. "Take care of her," he finished, the words spat out in plosive bursts. "I won't come again."

Stiffening his shoulders, he made his way to the door, his hand shaking fitfully as he turned the handle and pulled it open. With one more look back, he stepped out into the hall, pulling the door shut and pressing his eyes closed for a long moment.

The corridor was broad and deserted, windows letting in the dull daylight which was only brightened by the sterile white walls of the hospital. Rain was still pattering against the glass, occasionally rising to a thundering rattle as the gusts of wind lashed around the building.

The air in the small room had seemed so tight, compared to the rest of the hospital, even compared to the cool, airy hall he now stood in, the tension practically wrapping around his throat and strangling the life out of him.

Drawing a slow breath, he raised his hand to rub his forehead, his head aching.

A hand on his shoulder made him start and he glanced back to find Lupin behind him. "I said go," he said quietly, closing the door, leaving Black and Lily alone. "But I didn't say go too far. You were right when you said Lily would need good friends and she will need you."

"I'm not exactly good friend material, Lupin," Severus responded, trying to draw all the cold dignity around him that he could muster. "I never was and never will be," He laughed, a strained, bitter sound. "I know Black was right when he observed that I barely even qualify for the title of 'friend', so don't try and patronise me."

"I'm not patronising you, Snape," Lupin replied evenly. Slightly shorter than the dark man, the werewolf had to look up to meet Snape's eyes. "You're self-righteous, arrogant, infuriating, bad-tempered, bitter and various other things I don't need to mention because you know I'm right." 

Had it been any other person on any other day, Snape knew he would have been reaching for his wand, but today, he had seen too much emotion spent and just wanted to return to his home and ingest any potions that would let him spend the rest of... oh, perhaps a month, unconscious.

Lupin was still staring intently at him, though, and talking. 

"In Sirius' opinion - and I'm undecided about whether he was right or wrong - you didn't deserve her attention and looking at your attitude now, I don't know why she bothered, but Lily liked you and with everything that has just happened, she's going to need the people she cared for around her."

Turning away, Severus felt his throat tighten. "You saw what my presence did to her," he whispered bitterly. "Do you think I wish to spend the rest of my life inducing nervous breakdowns in Potter's widow. Now, if you don't mind..."

He started to walk away, but thin hands grabbed him by the shoulders, whipped him round, slamming him against the opposite wall of the corridor. The anger in the wolf's eyes was surprising. 

"You listen to me, you obnoxious, odious, self-pitying son of a bitch," he snarled, pale eyes flashing dangerously. "While I may not like you, I would strongly suggest that you find some semblance of a spine in this wretched body of yours and deal with whatever it is that is that makes you feel that you have to avoid her, because if she asks for you and you're not damn well ready to see her, I swear that I'll hunt you down and hurt you."

Black eyes stared down into pale blue-grey. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Lupin," he hissed, savagely pushing the wolf's hands off his robes. "I-I have my reasons for staying away."

"So do I," Lupin growled. "One of my best friends is dead along with his one-year-old son, both of them betrayed by another one of my best friends, who everyone trusted even more than me. I was the only one who didn't have a damn clue what was going on and now, I have to be faced with the fact that what I thought was real isn't and three people that I cared about are gone forever. Every damn time I look at Lily's face, I'm going to remember them! You think I'm going to turn my back on her, just because it reminds me of what I've lost?"

"It... it's not the same, Lupin," Severus pressed his right palm to his forehead, his headache increasing by the second. "You don't understand what I have to deal with... what I know..."

"No," Lupin agreed. "You're right about that. All I know is that all that's left for us to do is pick up the pieces of the woman who we all knew as Lily Evans and it's going to take as many hands as possible to put her back together again." 

"Lupin, I can't do it..."

"Can't do what, Snape?" the wolf retorted angrily. "Care about someone apart from yourself for even five minutes? Care about someone who does actually - against everyone else's better judgement - like you?"

Pressing the heels of his hands against his temples, Severus drew shaking breaths between his teeth, leaning back against the wall. "You don't realise the danger you could be putting her in by asking me to remain, Lupin..."

"So tell me! Explain it! We need your help, Snape, and if you don't..."

"Lupin..."

"Explain, Snape!"

"I..."

Lupin grabbed him by the front of his robes and, with a strength that seemed beyond his thin form, pulled Snape's face close, his voice a growl. "Explain. Now."

Despairing eyes stared wildly at the wolf. "I was a Death Eater," Snape whispered. Lupin recoiled, his face twisting into the disgust that was more familiar on Black's features. "I'll go," Severus added, stepping back. "She... she doesn't need to know."

Lupin's grip on the front of his robes didn't loosen, though, and he was jerked forward again. 

"If you were one of _them_," The way Lupin spat the word, slicked with venom, made Snape feel even more ashamed of his associations. "Then how are you here? Why are you here? Why would you risk capture?" Snape couldn't meet the wolf's eyes, his hands clenching. The sinews in his fists tightened to breaking-point. "You care about her, don't you?"

Glittering eyes slowly rose. "She was my friend before she ever knew you and your compatriots, Lupin. Why would that change just because she married into the family that lead to her ruin?" Severus said, his voice trembling. "I might have hated Potter, but that was because I knew what it would mean if she bore a child of that family's line... the results of which you are seeing now." 

Lupin stared at him intently, as if his eyes could dig right into Snape's soul, making the dark man twist uncomfortably. "There's more to this, Snape," he said quietly. "You weren't just one of them were you...? That's why you're still... that's why Dumbledore's been looking out for you... you were helping...weren't you?"

With a savage push, Severus pulled himself free of Lupin's grip. "I did what I could," he said, his voice shaking. His fingertips pressed agonisingly against his temple, his other hand gesturing Lupin back. "I tried to keep one step ahead of them, to find out... so I could warn her... but it still wasn't enough... I-I couldn't help them... and I can't face that! Knowing that I could have been the one to save them... but now, she's left... like that... and I could have stopped it!" Swinging around the face Lupin, his face was contorted in anger. "If she knew... I can't hurt her more. She's lost enough..."

"You tried..."

"I failed, Lupin. I don't want her to hate me for that."

There was a long silence.

"She won't," Lupin finally said. Severus couldn't withhold a sort of disbelief. "Snape, you did what you could. No one could have known that... that Peter would be the one to betray all of us."

"Peter? You mean Pettigrew was the one...?" Lupin nodded, his mouth tightening into a thin line. Snape looked away, his head spinning. Pettigrew... the small, harmless and useless one had been the one to bring this hell down around his friend. "Merlin... I didn't think he would be able..."

"None of us did, so you can't blame yourself for what happened," the wolf interrupted quietly. 

Black eyes, dark with anger, rose from the floor, Severus' nostrils flaring. The muscles in his cheeks drew tight, painful. His fingertips were biting sharply into his palms. "I'll kill him," his voice was rasping as he hissed the words. "I'll rip his damned throat out with my bare hands."

Pale eyes met his evenly. "It's too late for that," Lupin said, his voice expressionless, although there was a flicker of grief on his features. 

"You...?"

"I said it's too late," Lupin replied in a way that suggested that the subject be dropped immediately. 

Severus nodded, recognising the combination of hate, grief and mourning in Lupin's features. "I'm sorry," he said.

"So am I." Although he couldn't say what possessed him to do so, Severus raised a hand and squeezed Lupin's thin shoulder, a faint look of gratitude crossing the wolf's weary face. "You'll come back?"

Reluctantly, the dark-haired man slowly nodded. "You're right, Lupin," he said. "Lily is going to need her friends to aid her and while I'm not certain that I qualify, she did call me a friend once and I hope she still will."

"One thing, Severus," It was the first time the wolf had used his name and Severus was astonished to realise that he didn't feel the compulsion to correct the werewolf. "If you do return, you know that you are going to have to tolerate Sirius and I more than you already do, for her sake. Especially Sirius." Snape felt his lip curve darkly. "And," Lupin continued. "You could call us by our forenames."

"I think that might be pushing it a little, Lupin," Severus replied hollowly. "I would require more time to do that."

"As long as you don't attempt to hex Sirius when you're in the same room as him," Lupin spread his hands affably. "I suppose we can take it one step at a time. As long as I have your word that you won't just abandon her."

"And leave her to suffer the mind-numbing companionship of you and Black alone? Perish the thought."

A weary half-smile crossed Lupin's lips. "Well, there is always that," he said, extending a hand, which Snape looked at warily. Hesitantly, the darker man grasped the wolf's hand and shook it. "We'll see you soon, Severus," Lupin said, his eyes boring into black. 

Nodding once, curtly, Snape disengaged his hand, turned and walked away. 

***

Inside the ward, Sirius was still rocking the sobbing Lily. Her fingers bit through his shirt and leaving bruises on his skin, but he didn't care about that, one hand stroking through her hair, the other spread on her back as he held her close to him.

"S'alright, Lils, s'alright..." he whispered softly. "We're here... we'll be all right... I know it... we'll be all right..."

"I-I-I-I don't w-w-want it to be all right," her voice, broken and harsh from weeping reached him. "I-I just w-want t-to have them back..." She pressed her forehead against his shoulder, a shudder running through her body. "I want them back..." 

Pressing his eyes shut, Sirius rested his cheek against the top of her head. "I know, Lils," he whispered sadly. "I want them back to..."

"But they're... they're gone... aren't they? They won't come back... not ever..." Her face rose from his shoulder, damp and red. The tragic expression in her puffy eyes made his heart break. "They've left me..."

Bringing his hand around in front of her face, he pushed strands of tear-moistened hair back from her flushed cheeks. "Us, Lils," he replied softly, his own tears welling up again. "They left us... you, me, Moony... they left all of us..."

Lily lowered her head, sinking down against his chest. Drawing her knees up to her chest again, her shaking hands pulled blankets up in front of her sternum. Rocking, she pressed her chin and lips against her fist, fresh tears burning down her face.

"What am I going to do?" she whispered after a long silence. "I... everything is bad... I... what am we going to do?"

"We'll get by, Lils, I promise," Sirius caught one of her cold, trembling hands and squeezed it gently. "You, me, Remus..."

Green eyes looked up at him. "But what about the baby?"

Sirius was sure the bottom had dropped out of his stomach, his eyes and mouth both opening wide in shock. "B-baby? What do you mean baby? You... are you...?" Lily nodded. "Bloody hell..."

"I-I-I thought Dumbledore would have told you..."

"No... no, he didn't mention anything..."

Slowly lowering her legs, Lily took his hand - which was trembling as much as hers was - and pressed it against the normally-flat expanse of her belly, letting him feel a soft swell that he wouldn't have noticed. 

"We... we were going to tell everyone soon," she said, her hand covering his as she looked up at him. "A-a- party... we were going to have a party... a s-special one... to tell everyone... and it was..." Her shaking hands covered her face as she started sobbing again. "It was g-g-going to b-be g-g-great..."

Wrapping his arms around her again, her body settled between his thighs as he held her, Sirius let her cry, her arms tightening around her neck as she shuddered with the violence of her grief.

His blue eyes rose from Lily's bowed head as the door of the room squealed open again, allowing Remus to enter, an exhausted look on his drawn face. He ran a hand through his sandy hair, approaching the bed.

"Lily and James had some news they wanted to share with us," Sirius said quietly.

"Oh?"

Nodding, Sirius murmured, "Number two was on the way."

"Number..." A stunned look crossed Remus' face. "Oh, Lily..."

Slowly lowering her hands from her face, she looked at him. "D-don't say you're sorry," she pleaded. "I-I-I've had so many people saying it... it doesn't mean anything anymore... it doesn't bring them back..."

Sitting carefully down on the edge of the bed, Remus offered her one of his thin hands, which she took immediately, trying to smile, but her lips refused to respond to her wishes. 

"Do you want us to get in touch with anyone for you, Lily?" he asked softly, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. "If you want anything, you know you just have to ask. We'll take care of everything for you..."

Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Lily swallowed hard and nodded. "I-I need to see the girls..." she said. "They... all of them need to know..."

"Which ones? Hogwarts or..."

"B-both," Lily replied in a shaking voice. "Can... can you bring them here?"

"We'll get everyone we can, Lils," Sirius answered for Remus. "What about... you know... the arrangements?"

Rubbing her nose, her eyes still bubbling with tears, Lily sniffed hard. "P-Professor Dumbledore said he would... he's taking care of things... that side of things... and the house... he's taking care of the house..."

"You're not staying there?"

"I-I can't... n-not after what happened... can I?" She looked from one to the other in hopeless question.

"You know either of us would have you at our flats in a heartbeat..."

Remus nodded. "Although," he added. "I think it might be safer for all of us if we try and find somewhere bigger... a werewolf, a lunatic and a pregnant woman in a one-room flat might be a bit difficult..."

"Y-you don't mind?"

"Of course not," Remus said, squeezing her fingers again. "What are friends for?"

Lily managed to find a watery smile. "Thank you," she mumbled, then looked up at Sirius before hesitantly asking, "Wh-where did Severus go?"

Sirius visibly tensed, Remus flashing a wary, warning look at him. "He isn't used to people being emotional, Lily," Remus was the one to answer. "He thought he had upset you and that it might be better if he left for the time being."

"But he... he will come back... won't he?" The desperate tone in her voice was that of someone who has lost almost everything and fears that what little she has is about to be wrenched from her grasp.

"He will," Sirius replied, much to Remus' surprise, determination marked on Sirius' face. "I'll drag him back by his hair, if I have to. If you want the greasy git here, I'm not going to argue."

"E-even though you don't like him?"

Sirius gave her a weary half-smile. "Lily, you said that you want your mates around you and if the manky bastard is one of them, even if I can't stand the sight of him, I'll get him here for you."

Lily laid her head against his shoulder, exhaling a sigh. "Thank you, Sirius," she whispered gratefully. "I... I need you... everyone... to get along... just for a little while... just until I-I can get myself sorted out..."

"We'll do what we can, Lils," Sirius answered, kissing the top of her head. "I told Prongs that if anything ever happened, I'd look after you for him and I'm not about to break that promise now, just because of a stuck-up ponce who can't wash his hair."

"You better not call him that," Lily said, laughing reedily. It was forced, but it wasn't fresh tears, which both men saw as a tiny step forward.

"Oh, I didn't," Sirius replied candidly. "That was Prongs' favourite name for him."

Lily shook her head, a melancholy smile on her lips. "He was as bad as you are," she said with a soft sigh of reminiscence.

"Actually," Remus added with a slight grin. "There was a reason that Prongs was the ring-leader, Lily."

Her voice still a little drawn, she inquired. "More looks, charm, charisma, talent... do I need to go on?"

"You forgot one thing," Sirius said gravely.

"And what would that be?" Lily asked.

"A hopelessly deluded wife."


	3. Chapter Three

Two days had passed since Sirius had visited the hospital and when he entered Lily's small ward, he could see that something had changed in her expression and in the way she was holding herself.

Clad in jeans and thick, roll-neck purple and green jumper that clashed hideously with her hair, which was drawn back in a ponytail, she was sitting on the bed with a photograph album in her lap.

Dumbledore was sitting beside the bed in one of the half-dozen chairs, watching her look through the pictures, his expression one of sympathy and understanding as she occasionally pointed out a face.

"All right, Lils?"

Looking up, Lily smiled faintly at him. "Hello, Sirius," she said, patting the space on the bed beside her. "Professor Dumbledore brought one of the old photo albums from the wedding. You look daft."

"At least I wasn't voluntarily wearing a meringue," Sirius countered, crossing the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her, looking at the pictures where a miniature Lily promptly stuck her tongue out at him.

"No," Lily agreed giving him a wan smile. "But at least I didn't end up wearing a trifle by the end of the reception."

Beside the bed, they heard the chuckle of Dumbledore. "It was a rather chaotic day, wasn't it?" he said. "You were the most sane person present, I believe, and I count myself among that number."

Lily looked down at the album. "I wish everyone could be here, Professor," she said sadly, pausing at the picture of her and her bridesmaids, some of them muggles, some of them witches. 

"Everyone?" Sirius inquired.

Green eyes turned to him. "Helena and Annabelle aren't allowed to know," she said, a melancholy look filling already heart-rending eyes. "After what happened to Lizzie and what this baby is going to mean..."

"It's safer that they don't know," Sirius finished, nodding, sliding an arm around her shoulder and hugging her against him. "You've still got us, though, you know. You have Moony, Greaseman and me."

Lily nodded, her head resting on his shoulder. "I still wish they could know that it's not their fault," she whispered, her hand spreading on the photograph. "I mean, they are my friends..."

Helena Brady, Annabelle Donohue and Elizabeth McKinnon were three of Lily's closest friends from Hogwarts and they had been close right through until their final year, where they had vowed to stay in touch forever.

They had managed for nearly a year and a half. Elizabeth had been named as Harry's godmother, then the threat of Voldemort had reared its ugly head and the Potter family had been forced into hiding.

Elizabeth McKinnon and her family were warned to get out of the public eye, because of her friendship with Lily, but word reached them too late and Voldemort wiped out the whole family, when they refused to say where Lily and James were.

From then, contact with Helena and Annabelle had been scant, in case they were traced and captured by Voldemort as well. Sirius and Remus should have done the same, but stubbornly refused to leave James and Lily to harm.

"If you like," Dumbledore suggested quietly. "I could contact both of them for you, very discreetly, and let them know that you have been forced out of sight due to the extensive publicity about you and his defeat. If they know you as well as you believe, they will understand why you have to do this."

Nodding, Lily wet her lips. "I-I just don't want them to think I have forgotten about them," she said, looking down at the quintet of bridesmaids battling over the bouquet in the photograph. 

The smallest of the group of pretty young women rugby-tackled Lily from behind, actually wrestling the bouquet out of her hands and racing off with it, her skirts hiked up to her knees. Lily's lips rose in a slight smile.

"What's the plan, professor?" Sirius asked, resting his brow against Lily's as they continued to look through the pictures. "I mean, there's only a few of us from our world that will know about it. What about muggles?"

Dumbledore exchanged looks with Lily. "We are trying to keep everything as quiet as possible at the moment," he replied. "Only a few of Lily's friends will be informed and they will be the ones who will be of greatest help to her, in the muggle world."

"'They' being anyone we know?"

Lily nodded, tapping one of the photographs. "You've met the two of them," she said. "Jane and Rana. They were at the wedding, although I can't guarantee that you'll remember them, though."

"Are you saying I was blotto?"

"I'm saying nothing," Lily replied primly. "Although drunk as a monk comes close."

"I resent that!"

Lily raised her brows. "I though you might," she said.

***

By the time Severus Snape arrived at Lily's ward, there were several people sitting around the bed, every face turning to him expectantly when he pushed the door open and stepped into the room.

Outside, the sky was still dull and grey, but Black was sitting on the window ledge anyway, the window raised to allow a light breeze to filter the room with the sweet, cold smell of the rain that had just fallen.

"Snape," he acknowledged, before turning back to flicking tufts of damp moss off the windowsill. 

"Severus," Lily smiled at him. It was more natural than any smile she had worn since that night, but he could still see the heart-breaking sorrow in her green eyes. Nearing the bed, he was pleased to see a chair close to her.

"How are you?" he asked as he sat down beside the bed, though he knew it sounded hollow and pointless.

Her shoulders lifted a little. "I-I've been worse," she said half-heartedly. "You?"

"Same as ever," he replied, taking a chance to look around the trio of faces that lined the bed. 

Lupin was there, apparently very interested in the back of his right hand. Beside him, a blonde-haired woman shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny, bowing her head and the last person present was Dumbledore.

"Severus," Lily said. "Meet Jane Benwell. Jane, this is Severus Snape, the friend from school that I told you about."

The blonde woman lifted her face, giving him a timid smile. Bright blue eyes blinked at him owlishly behind thick-framed glasses. "H-hello," she said before ducking her head again. "Nice to meet you."

Severus arched a brow at Lily.

"She's shy," Lily murmured, leaning close to him. "She changed a lot in appearance very suddenly when she hit her late teens and she still hasn't adjusted to it. She's not used to having people, especially men, looking at her."

Looking back at her, the dark-haired man wondered what it was about her that made people study her. Perhaps if she didn't have those awful spectacles on, then maybe she would have been pretty, but they were horrendous, they really were.

She was wearing dungarees with a thick jumper that was almost as garish as Lily's and her hair was braided and hanging down her back in a thick rope. She really looked like she would be more at home hidden away in a library.

This was one of the muggles Dumbledore trusted to help Lily?

This weak, frail, delicate-looking individual?

Dear Merlin, was the old man mad?

"Miss Benwell," he said. "Are you certain you will be able to aid Lily?"

Jane Benwell's head snapped up, her lips pursed and he saw fire flashing in the eyes behind the glasses. "Of course I can look after my friend!" she stated, pointing an angry finger at him. "And if you imply that I can't, I'll have to... to..." She looked at her red-haired friend. "Lily, how much damage can I do him?"

Lily was biting on her lip to hide a smile. "No damage to this one, Flops," she said, reaching down to squeeze Jane's hand. "He's on our side and I'd like to keep him intact as long as possible."

The look that the slim young woman shot at him was one of pure malevolence. "If he does anything, Cot, anything at all, you say the word and I'll teach him not to mess with the bunnies!"

And clearly, Severus thought dryly, the woman was quite mad.

"I though you might say that," Lily replied, then turned to the dark-haired young man on her other side. "And Severus, don't try and test my other friends. They might look nice and gentle, but they have teeth. Sharp ones." 

Severus flashed a warning glower at Jane, who met it and matched it with a glare, her nose scrunching up and her lips pursing.

"It's a she-grease-man," Black dryly noted from the window, making the pair break off their glaring match, to direct a look at him. Raising his hands, he flashed them a half-smile. "What? You're exactly the same. Apart from the female, blonde and pretty thing that Miss Benwell has as an advantage."

"Sirius!" Lily groaned, one hand pressing against her forehead. "You had to make them both bad-tempered. This isn't going to help."

"I'm not bad-tempered," Benwell sharply voiced the thought that had been going through Severus' head at that moment, making him blink at her. "Lily, can I push him out the window?"

Lily raised her eyebrows at the other woman, who looked a little sheepish and shrugged helplessly. "That time of the month?"

"Would I normally want to push friends of yours out of the window?"

"Do I have to remind you about that trip to Barcelona?"

"At least he bounced when he hit the ground," Jane said, with a look over at Sirius, who made a pained face. Benwell smiled primly at him. "You would think he would learn not to annoy me. Especially when we're above five storeys."

Severus wondered if he had maybe been a little hasty in forming his opinion of the young woman. After all, if she had pushed Sirius Black out of a window, she could hardly be all bad.

"It was six storeys," Black corrected, apparently choosing his words very carefully so as not to annoy her further. "And a balcony and how much would I have to grovel to ensure it doesn't happen again in the near future?"

Benwell gave him a measured look, her glare actually making Black recoil. "You did try and spy on us when we were changing into our swimming suits," she said. "And that's enough to make me not like you. Ever."

"I was seventeen! And male!"

Benwell said nothing further, sniffing and turning away from him.

"Lils! Tell her!"

Lily had a hand pressed over her mouth and looked like she was desperately trying not to laugh out loud. "Can't tell her, Sirius," she finally managed to squeak. "Flops does what she likes. She doesn't listen to me."

"Flops?" Severus inquired, wondering if there was some physical deformity that the blonde woman had, which had earned her that nickname.

"Long story," Lily replied. "Now's really not the time for it."

Severus felt the line between his brows deepen. "What are we waiting for?"

"One more person," the wolf answered.

"One?" Lily's head turned sharply and Severus could see the sudden flare of panic in her eyes, the terror that she might have lost someone else flooding her face, which had drained of colour. "But Rana... and Roger... you said..."

The wolf raised a hand in a calming motion. "Don't worry, Lily," he said, his voice as quiet and calming as ever. "Roger is on his way, but Rana, though, is in America at the moment and we couldn't catch her. Nothing happened to them."

One of Lily's hands pressed, shaking, to her mouth and she slowly nodded. "I-I just was worried," she stammered, lowering her head. "I-I thought perhaps..." A weak, forced laugh escaped her. "I'm being silly..."

In a heartbeat, the blonde woman on the other side of the bed had scrambled up next to Lily, her arms wrapped securely around the red-haired witch. "S'alright, Cot," she murmured, Lily clutching at her arms. "You don't get rid of us that easily."

"Rana is all right?"

"As right as she can ever be," the blonde soothed, a hand smoothing Lily's hair, her cheek resting against Lily's forehead. "I mean, with Mopsy, you can never really tell what's all right and what's freak of nature." 

Laughing faintly, Lily smiled weakly. "I-I suppose so."

Watching the blonde woman embracing his friend, helping her in the way Severus knew he couldn't, the dark-haired young man felt oddly relieved to know that Lily did have such friends.

After all, if she was meant to get by with just him, the wolf and Black for company, she would lose her mind within a month.

"Do you live near Lily?" the wolf asked gently.

"She will be close enough," Dumbledore interrupted, giving the blonde a small smile. "However, I think it best if we wait until Mr. Billings arrives, before you are all informed of all the details pertaining to the situation, as it will be easier to tell everyone at once."

"I thought he was meant to be here by now," Black remarked, swatting at his hair with a growl of frustration. "Bloody insects!"

Severus knew it was a low blow, but he couldn't resist. "Well, you do know what they say about flies being attracted to faeces..." he remarked, one side of his mouth lifting. 

Lily muffled a snort of laughter, hiding her face in the chuckling Benwell's shoulder, a hand clapped over her mouth. The wolf and Dumbledore exchanged amused looks, while Black narrowed his eyes. 

"Snape..."

"Severus," Lily chastised, although it was punctuated by choked giggles. "That was rude of you."

"I know," he replied candidly, as she extended a hand for his and squeezed his bony fingers. "But it was also amusing and strangely accurate."

"That's where you're wrong," Black muttered darkly. "I'll have you know it wasn't a fly. It was a beetle."

"A... dung beetle, perhaps?" 

"Severus!"

Giving the woman on the bed an apologetic look, he inclined his head. "Forgive me, Lily," he said, her fingers still wrapped around his and squeezing them in caution. "I will attempt to restrain myself and remain civilised."

By the window, Black snorted vehemently, as he flicked what had to be his insect assailant off the ledge and pulled the window closed with a solid thump. He looked like he was trying to find some come back that wouldn't earn him a glare from either Lily or her friend.

Fortunately, the arrival of the last of their group prevented any verbal duel between the two from beginning.

Mainly, because the four men - Dumbledore included - in the room couldn't help staring at the elusive Roger Billings.

While Severus had refused to attend Lily's wedding on principle, Billings had been out of the country, so Black, the wolf and Dumbledore had never had the chance to meet Lily's closest male muggle friend.

She had informed all of them that he was naive, sensitive and was not to be teased for his somewhat innocent outlook on life, but she had somehow forgotten to mention that the muggle was model-material.

Standing in the doorway, he looked like he had been pulled out of a poster for the ideal Oxford or Cambridge Graduate, his pin-striped suit impeccable, his dark brown hair sweeping back over an annoyingly perfect forehead. His nose was straight, cheekbones ideally positioned to give him a dignified and refined look. 

Severus was one hundred percent and bitterly positive that if the man smiled, a flash would twinkle off his teeth, which were no doubt straight and perfect as the rest of him looked.

He was the kind of man who, with his looks, made the mere mortal sick with envy and Severus knew that he was no different.

"Ey oop, love!" the man exclaimed in an utterly absurd Yorkshire accent, completely shattering the image that he presented and making Severus snort with amusement into the front of his robes. "Ow aah ya?"

Was that English?

"Gerbil! You didn't get lost after all!"

Walking briskly across the ward towards he bed, the man pushed past Severus with a brief apologetic grin - and he really did have the twinkle, damn him - then dropped himself on the bed beside Lily and flung his arms around her and Benwell.

"You know me," he laughed, the bizarre accent of moments before vanishing, as he nuzzled her hair. "My big baby calls and I come running." One manicured hand lifted her chin and he studied her. "How are you?"

"As well as can be expected," Lily replied, snuggling against the man she had called Gerbil. Enclosed between her friends and ignoring the protesting squeaks of the bed frame, she pressed her lips together, squeezing her eyes shut. "I miss him, Ger."

"I know, Lily, but you have to keep living. You know your Jimmy-lad would want that," he said, nudging his forehead gently against hers. "We're all going to be here as well, so you don't have to get through it on your lonesome. Or at least, when Rana gets her posterior in gear, we would all be here."

"You shouldn't call him Jimmy," Lily's voice cracked. "You know how much it used to annoy him and he..." A muffled sob escaped her and she buried her face in Roger's chest. "H-he isn't here to throw a pillow at you."

Billings and Benwell both hugged her comfortingly. 

"I'm sorry, love, I'm sorry... that was stupid of me."

Lily's face lifted slightly. "I-I wish he was here," she said unsteadily. "With me."

"We know," Benwell said softly, her chin resting on Lily's shoulder. "But you've hauled us all in here for an important reason. I don't want to sound like we're all in a hurry, but we are and I want to know how we can help. Maybe we...?" 

The red-haired witch nodded, resting her head against Roger's shoulder in an attitude of utter fatigue. "Jane, you know everyone. Roger, to your right, Severus," Severus dipped his chin in a nod of acknowledgement as brown eyes swept over him. "To your left Professor Dumbledore and Remus Lupin."

"And Sirius, I've met before, although I doubt he'll remember it," Billings finished, nodding towards Black, who was still leaning against the window ledge, his palms braced on the edge of the frame. "So, Lily, what's the plan?"

"Professor Dumbledore has told me what he has in mind," she said, her voice nearly breaking. "I-I have to leave the wizarding world entirely. For my safety and the anonymity and safety of the baby."

"Entirely?" Black pushed off from the window, suspicion mirrored in his eyes. "How entire is entirely?"

Dumbledore motioned Black back, once more impressing Severus with his utter authority in all situations. "Sirius, what we have in mind is a charm somewhat similar to the fidelius charm, which will conceal both Lily and her child's identity from both the muggle and wizarding world."

"Including us? If that's what you have planned..."

"Padfoot," Lupin murmured, shaking his head slightly at Black, who fell back a little, looking chastised. "Let him finish."

Ever the voice of reason, the wolf.

Dumbledore nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Remus," he said, then gestured Black closer to the group. "What we have in mind will conceal Lily and the child from all but a select group, who will know the truth and aid her where and when necessary, as I would not wish to utterly isolate her."

"And this select group features all of us, correct?" Billings inquired, not looking up from Lily, who was still resting her head against his chest, her eyes closed, silent tears sliding down her pale face. Shaking fingers were toying with his lapel pin.

"That is correct, Mr. Billings," Dumbledore acknowledged. "Sirius, Remus and Severus have all proved their loyalty. Yourself, Miss Khalil and Miss Benwell have a similar affiliation with her and she trusts you more than any other friends."

The look Black shot at Severus made the dark-haired young man wish he could curl in on himself and never be seen again, the venom and distaste he felt towards Severus more than apparent.

"However," Dumbledore apparently noticed as well and Severus saw the dangerous flash in the bright blue eyes. "For this charm to work effectively, all of us will have to work as a unit. Dissention will only cause problems. Therefore, you must place your enmity behind you."

Severus flashed a wary look at the other black-haired individual, who was looking mutinous. His own distaste, he knew, would probably be just as apparent, his upper lip curling of its own accord.

"Sirius... Severus..." Lily's broken whisper reached them both. "Please... don't make this harder than it already is... just for once... for me..."

Black eyes met blue, the dislike crackling between them like electricity.

Slowly rising from his chair, Severus felt every muscle in his arm scream in protest as he raised and extended a hand towards Black, who - with a look of distaste that matched Snape's own - approached the bed and briefly clasped the extended hand, for as short a time was possible.

"Now," His tone becoming brisk and business-like, Dumbledore clasped his hands together. "Once the charm is cast, a masking spell will be immediately invoked, which means that Lily will no longer appear as she presently does. The changes will be subtle, but will suffice to disguise her from recognition, should she be passed by a witch, wizard or old friend who may recognise her."

"What's she going to look like?" Billings demanded, asking the question that each of them was no doubt longing to ask. "I mean, if you turn our Lils into a hideous old hag, I'm certain I will find some law that says I can bash you."

"He said subtle, Gerbil," Lily said tiredly. "My eyes and hair will change colours. I think my skin tone will be different and my features might be altered a little, but you'll know it's me."

"Will you still be Lily, though? Or will you have a different name?" Lupin was the one to pose the question.

"Professor?"

Dumbledore nodded. "She will have a new name and identity," he replied. "I will not give it to you, until the spell is cast and she is secure. Similarly, her home will be under equal levels of protection. It is unplottable, which means, should her identity be uncovered by the enemy, even you would not be able to give specific directions to it."

"We won't be able to get there?" Benwell sounded puzzled. "But how are we meant to help?"

"You misinterpret me, Miss Benwell," Dumbledore corrected gently. "You will know how to get there instinctively, much like students at my school know how to get there, but you will never be able to say exactly where it lies should you be asked, especially in relation to any landmarks or streets. It will be undefinable."

Billings raised a hand to his brow, which was creased in confusion, his expression puzzled. "I think my head is hurting," he said in the tone of one who had been forced to think far too hard.

"Don't worry about understanding it," Black said. "I studied the stuff for seven years and I still don't understand it. Just trust that he knows what he's talking about and the spell will work."

"Is it assured, sir?" Severus asked, folding and unfolding his hands.

Dumbledore nodded. "It will work as intended," he replied. "It is to be cast within a matter of days and Lily will be transferred to her new home upon that day. From then, she will live as muggle a life as possible."

"What about making a living, though?" Benwell asked. "I mean, Lily would only have qualifications in the magic world if she needed to work. What is she going to do for a living? I'll help where I can, but I'm only a nurse and I don't know how well the new position will pay."

"I-I have enough to last me a while," Lily volunteered. "James... he... we weren't exactly poor. It'll do for a while, but one of you will have to get the money for me... put it in a new account. A muggle one."

"I'll sort that out for you, Lily," the wolf said. "I've made withdrawals with James before. The Goblins will remember me."

"They're like tiny elephants for remembering things like that," Black noted, then shuddered. "Elephants with sharp, frightening teeth at kneecap-level."

Smiling slightly, Lily nodded. "I'll need just enough to get by," she said. "And you'll have to do it after I know what my new name is. If I run out, I can always find some kind of unskilled labour that I can manage."

"But not while you are pregnant," Severus interrupted. "You are not to put yourself at risk."

"Are you telling me what to do, Severus?" Lily gave him the small questioning half-smile that he remembered so well from their early years at Hogwarts. The smile that said that he might have just made a mistake.

Apparently Black and Lupin recognised it too. Judging by Benwell's snickers and the smirk on Billings' lips, they were also aware what it meant.

"I would never dream of such a thing," he hastily said. "I would never impose my ideals on you. You know that."

Lily laughed softly. "You know me too well, Severus," she said. "And I wouldn't dream of working until this baby is at least old enough to go to a nursery or something like that, where I know it will be safe with other children."

Quashing the urge to comment on the fact that children were quite possibly the most dangerous and awkward things he had ever come across, Severus nodded. "How are we to maintain contact with you?"

"By muggle mail or the muggle telephone will be all if we wish to maintin the concealing spell, I believe," Dumbledore said. "Floo powder is not allowed, as it has to be registered as a connection and we do not wish to have any questions posed about the home, where Lily will reside. Her identity must be entirely anonymous to the wizarding world." 

"How long will this be for?" Lily asked, sudden anxiety flitting across her face. "I-I will be able to come back to the wizarding world some time, won't I? I don't want to leave it completely."

"It is simply a precaution until the furore about the Dark Lord fades and your child is old enough to join the world. Your location, though, ought to remain anonymous as long as it can be maintained. I do hope we have a future Hogwarts attendee."

"Of course!" Lily exclaimed. "I couldn't send him... her anywhere else." A worried look flooded her eyes. "Professor, how much can I tell it about our world? It wouldn't be fair for it to know nothing."

"When the child is old enough to understand the importance of secrecy, you may inform it of what you deem necessary," Dumbledore answered gravely. "You must be cautious, though. As your magic must be used in moderation from now, so must your knowledge. Too much information could ruin all."

Lily nodded in comprehension. 

"You are being incredibly brave, my dear," the Professor said. "Many others in your place would have not been as courageous as you have been in the past few days and I commend you for it."

"I'm not brave," Lily replied sadly, lowering her eyes. "I'm just doing what I have to so my baby can have the chance that Harry didn't get. It's what James would want for both of us."

"Lily, if you don't class that as brave, then I don't know what you call it. You're the bravest woman I've ever met," Black said and for once in his life, Severus Snape was horrified to realise that he agreed with exactly what Black had said.

***

Standing by the window of her new and unfamiliar bedroom, the lace curtain drawn back with one hand, the woman now known as Rose Johnstone let the buttery light from the streetlamp outside her window wash over her face.

She released the thin, near-transparent fabric and turned back to face the room, which was now to be called hers, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, which made her start.

Her once-radiant red hair was dark brown, almost black, and shone reddish when struck by the right light. She also had, despite protests from Beth, Sirius and Remus, agreed to have it cut from waist length into a chin-length bob, which framed her face in a totally different way.

Skin that had always been white as it could be, unless struck by the sun which caused it to go vividly lobster pink, had taken on a rosier hue, a few freckles popping out here and there.

The biggest change, though, came in her eyes. She had been known by her green eyes, one of her most distinctive features aside from her flaming mass of red hair. For them to be dark brown, a colour she saw every day in random faces that she passed...

It was hugely disconcerting to go from having such exotic colouring to being so very normal in looks, even though her features had not changed in shape or size. She was still Lily, just in a slightly different shade.

It was a strange feeling, having a new appearance, a new life, a new identity and a new home, all in a matter of minutes.

Folding her arms over her chest, Lily Potter couldn't help shivering with unease as she looked around the room. There was nothing wrong with it, but to be moved there, to a new place so suddenly was disconcerting.

A door stood open on the opposite wall, a broad double bed to her right, a bedside lamp on the nightstand casting a pale corona of light up the walls and across the not-so-large room. The walls were ivory with a border of red and gold, reminding her with a pang of longing, of her days in Gryffindor at Hogwarts.

Otherwise, the walls were bare of decoration, a dark wooden wardrobe and matching set of drawers and dressing table taking up much of the space on the floor, which was covered in a deep red carpet, which her toes sank into.

The house that had been provided for her had surprised her. 

While it wasn't exactly enormous, it had two generous-sized bedrooms and a blue-tinted bathroom upstairs, with a large storage cupboard on the landing, where most of her possessions were currently stored.

Downstairs, there was a fairly large kitchen with a living room that matched it in size, both opening off from the small lobby that the front door opened into, the stairs immediately to the left of the door.

There was a patch of grass in front and a larger one behind the house, which served as a garden. The house, itself, was a semi-detached, joined to one house on the Close that they lived in, which was somewhere in Kent or thereabouts, if she was to guess.

Furniture had been provided as well, meant to make the house as comfortable as possible, which Lily was grateful for. Sirius and Remus has obviously helped, as the colour schemes were much more muted than those Dumbledore - with his somewhat eclectic tastes - would have chosen. 

It was going to take some getting used to, she knew.

Then again, a lot of things were.

Being pregnant again.

Being a widow.

Being alone.

No.

Not alone. 

Walking over to the bed, where a large, dark and furry mass was curled up on the middle of the blankets, Lily sat down on the edge of the mattress and reached over to ruffle Sirius' fur.

Since he couldn't remain in human form, as it would draw far too much attention to Lily because he was known as James Potter's friend, he had shifted into his animagus form as soon as the oblivious Dumbledore had disapparated.

"Hey. Move it," Poking him in the ribs, Lily couldn't help smiling as the huge dog, which had happily taken up more than half of the bed, snorted and ignored her, clearly quite comfortable where he was. "Sirius, do you want me to pull the ear?"

Sirius made a little barking sound, which she recognised.

"You're being awfully rude to the pregnant and very hormonal person, Sirius."

Another snort was the only reply she got.

Reaching over the dog's broad, shaggy side, she reached down towards his head and grabbed hold of his ear and yanked, which appeared to get Sirius' attention, a yelp of protest escaping him, his head lifting off the blanket.

"Shift your shaggy tail and let me get into bed and I'll think about letting go," she said in a tone of mock-sweetness. Whining in protest, the large dog moved slightly, so she could tug the blankets free and crawl under them, letting go of his ear. "You're lucky I don't make you sleep on the floor," she muttered sleepily.

The bed squeaked in protest as the dog's hefty form shifted and he settled against her back with his own, as she curled on her side. The warmth of his fur spread through the blankets and Lily smiled faintly.

"You're like a king-sized hot water bottle," she said sleepily, yawning and reaching for the lamp, switching it off. A broad muzzle nuzzled her shoulder affectionately, in a gesture of comfort and she patted Sirius' broad side. "Thank you for staying, Sirius."

No reply came.

"Sirius?" Turning slightly, Lily nudged him.

That was when the massive, black dog, which could easily rival a tiger in size started to snore with the same volume and rhythm of an outboard motor.


End file.
